Tired

My ex contacted my sister. The ex that I'm still in love with. The one I still dream about. The one that knocked up his ex girlfriend just two months after I lost our baby. He never talks to my sister. He never really did. For some reason he just wanted to call her and tell her about a contest his friend was holding. We haven't talked since August. Why is he calling my family? He's moved on. He has a life without me now and a baby on the way. If I can't have him why can't I just have a life without him. He's all I've ever wanted since I was fourteen years old. Sometimes I feel like I'm just not meant to be happy.