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Monday, April 18, 2011


I have a tendency to only write when I'm depressed, so I wanted to take this opportunity to write when I'm feeling good. I think my new medication is working for me (Depokote and Welbutrin). I went on another date and had a great time. He was really sweet and was so nervous to be there with me his poor straw wrapper didn't stand a chance. I still talk to Drew, but he's not a main feature of my life which is good because he has a tendency to send me swinging between mania and depression so quickly I can't keep up.

I just read  Talking About Bipolar Disorder isn’t “Playing the Victim” | Breaking Bipolar - HealthyPlace. I highly recommend checking it out if you have bipolar disorder. On the one hand it made me think about all the people who've made me feel like less of a person for not being able to "wish" my bipolar disorder away, but on the other hand it also made me think of all the times I've allowed my bipolar disorder to be an excuse for bad behavior (missing class, fights, stupid mistakes). Actually the funny thing is when I do use it as an excuse people tend to get mad at me and tell me to stop making excuses, but if I don't they tell me that what I did or didn't do is perfectly justified because I was depressed/manic. Personally I think that I should let my own conscience be the judge of whether I'm making excuses or if I really was really having a rough patch. I know that the people who really care about me will be smart enough to tell when I'm making excuses and care enough to help me through the bad times.

1 comment:

  1. Very strong insight. I have fallen victim several times. I am trying to learn how to be responsible for myself and my actions, regardless where I am. It's a tough balance, but it is a start.

    I know how hard it is to get past a first love that swings you so high and low. It's taking those baby steps. Glad you had a second date. Hope you are doing well.


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