Songs for Drew

When we were just friends: Kryptonite--3 Doors Down
When I started falling for him: Teardrops on My Guitar--Taylor Swift
When my mom made us stop being friends: My Immortal--Evanescence
When we dated the first time: Fifteen--Taylor Swift
When we dated the second time: Come in with the Rain--Taylor Swift
When he came back into my life: You Belong With Me--Taylor Swift
When we lost the baby: If I Die Young--The Band Perry
When he reacted to losing the baby: Cold as You--Taylor Swift
When we said goodbye "forever": Almost Lover--A Fine Frenzy
When I was missing him: Need You Now--Lady Antebellum
When I was missing "us": The Way I Loved You--Taylor Swift
When he came back and apologized: You're Not Sorry--Taylor Swift
When we decided to become friends again: What Do You Want--Jerrod Niemann
When he wanted to come to my rescue and help fix my problems: White Horse--Taylor Swift
When I realized I'm wasting my time on him: Wasted--Carrie Underwood
When I realized I couldn't live without him: Mad World--Donnie Darko


If anyone out there reads this....and really wants to know where my heart is (which clearly is all over the place from this playlist) listen to and analyze the lyrics of this song. I'm hurting. I'm torn.

Dating

I went on a date with someone new today and I gotta say it really sucks starting over. I mean....with my ex...I felt this instant connection with him. I haven't been able to get him out of my head since that day. Every guy I've dated since then...I haven't felt anything...no spark...nothing. The guy today was really sweet. He was a gentleman...he made me laugh. He bought my dinner and took me to a movie...but that spark just wasn't there. I wonder if I'm ever going to feel it again. I mean maybe I'll feel it with this guy later, but I just feel like if I had a relationship with him I'd just be forcing myself to feel something for him. I guess I just want the connection I had with my ex. People say that takes time, but it didn't. It was instant. I knew I wanted him from the start. I just want someone that I'll have that with again. I just keep hoping there's someone out there for me.

Now that he's back

Talking to him is like breathing...I'm finally smiling again. I know we'll never be together, but I know I need him in my life.

She's...not...pregnant...

My ex just messaged me on Facebook...he's not engaged...she's not pregnant...apparently she lied about that...I'm not really sure what to think right now...because I've spent the last 7 months getting adjusted to the fact that he's going to be having babies with someone else and now he's not....just when I was starting to get used to the idea and accept that he was out of my life forever...